this side.

I've spent a large part of my life desperately trying to control as much as I could. Even though I realized when I was young that I couldn't, that despite our best attempts there is still pain and people still die, I still tried. I expected life to turn out the way I wanted it to.

One day you'll see her and you'll know what I mean.

Take her or leave her she will still be the same.

She'll not try to buy you with her time.

But nothing's the same, as you will see when she's gone.

It's foreign on this side,

And I'll not leave my home again.

There's no place to hide

And I'm nothing but scared.

But life doesn't work that way, and I could only pretend for so long. I was afraid of the things that I didn't understand and couldn't control. What's more, I saw so many people around me who didn't seem to be paralyzed by fear, by change.

You dream of colors that have never been made,

You imagine songs that have never been played.

They will try to buy you and your mind.

Only the curious have something to find.

It's foreign on this side,

And the truth is a bitter friend.

But reasons few have I to go back again.

Thankfully, God loved me too much to let me hide behind my fear. The process of risking, of trying, or daring to believe there is something more and better isn't an easy one. Its painful, and there's no instruction manual or well-laid-out and clear path to take. But to my surprise, this flying-by-the-seat-of-my-pants thing? Its not comfortable, but its right. Every part of me resonates that this is the way God meant for us to live - not knowing the end, but trusting him with the next step.

Your first dawn blinded you, left you cursing the day.

Entrance is crucial and it's not without pain.

There's no path to follow, once you're here.

You'll climb up the slide and then you'll slide down the stairs.

It's foreign on this side,

But it feels like I'm home again.

There's no place to hide

But I don't think I'm scared.

That's why this song is the inspiration for my blog, because I'm not following the path that I intended, but I love it just the same.