trusting in his timing.

In January 2009, I had minor outpatient surgery. It was a non-issue, really, more of a nuisance in terms of dealing with doctor visits and scheduling. Recovery was really easy, as far as surgeries go - I was out shopping with my mother the very next day.

A couple months ago, the same symptom that flagged the intial problem, started to reoccur. After talking with my doctor, she's scheduled me for further tests and referred me back to my specialist again.

I'm not nervous or worried at all. Instead, my reaction surprised me - I was really, really frustrated. Angry even. So angry, in fact, that I had to be extremely careful not to bite anyone's head off, because even the smallest thing was annoying me.

A large part of my frustration, I knew, was in the timing. Last year's surgery came the month before I went to Russia, and now we're less than six weeks away from our trip to Africa. Add to that, August is going to be an extremely busy month - in addition to all the preparations for Gabon, I'll also be traveling to Maryland twice - once for Kelli's graduation, and once for Katie and Vince's wedding reception. I just didn't want to add one more thing to a schedule that already felt pretty maxed out.

I know that my life is in God's hands. I alternately rest in that and cling to it with a death grip, depending on the situation. But, thanks to the well-timed words of a friend, I was reminded of something pretty important - that the timing of my life is also in God's hands. He is never surprised or caught off-guard - in fact, every day of my life was mapped out before I was even born (Psalm 139:16).

Sometimes, maybe, trust is instinctual, but I think more often its a conscious choice. So I'm choosing to trust.