Yesterday on the way to work, I was struck by this thought: I spend a lot of time feeling guilty.
Guilt for something I said, or didn't say, or did, or didn't do. Guilt for things that happened recently, or long ago. Guilt for opportunities missed, or time wasted. Guilt for the dishes that have been sitting in the sink for three days, or the suitcase that's still unpacked, or the five chocolate chip cookies I ate the other day.
I'm not sure why that thought occurred to me then - it could have been because I was thinking about recent events that I regret. Or maybe it was because it had been a few days since I had written one of my typically impossibly-long to-do lists, and so hadn't gone to bed with a bunch of still-empty checkboxes. Either way, I think God was prodding my heart because he has something to teach me.
Like with most things he teaches me, I've got a lot of thinking to do still. Thinking and pondering and weighing as I try to wrap my head around this and hear the whisper of truth amid the noise of lies.
Ann Voskamp says that she names years, "because each one births a different life that needs to be raised up and remembered." If I were to do the same, then last year would be the Year of Adventure.
I'm thinking this year will be the Year of Freedom.
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The Year of Freedom sounds fabulous! Guilt can just be so crippling . . . I wish you the best in your journey towards casting it off! I know God wants freedome for us, so He'll equip you with what you need--all you have to do is ask. I love reminding myself of that truth--frequently I try and try and try and then get frustrated when I fail, when a simple request in prayer unleashes the strength I needed all along.
ReplyDeleteOh my, do I relate to this. I have this same trait to feel guilty. Great idea to work on this and have a year of freedom> Sounds wonderful!
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