a tough week.

Friends, it’s been a tough week.

I’ve traveled a lot lately – all good trips, but I’ve learned that one thing that is guaranteed to stress me out is not having enough time to just be at home, no matter how much I enjoy the thing that takes me away from home.

Last week I had to give notice to one of my house guests. It was the right decision, I know that, because sometimes you just can’t really help people, no matter how much you want to. Still, if I’m being honest, I’m more than a little frustrated that it came to this. I wish it was otherwise. Sometimes it feels like a failure on my part, even though I really don’t think there was anything I could have/should have done differently. There are tons of lessons to be learned here, and maybe one day I’ll share them.

Also last week, on Monday, my beautiful grandmother passed away. She was 96 years old. We had her for a long time and now she’s home and whole with Jesus, and I think probably dancing with my grandfather. I’ve been trying for the last few days to write about her, and maybe someday soon I can, but for now the words aren’t quite coming together in my head.

This past week, even the past month, has taken a lot out of me, and I’m tired. More than that, I’m weary.

I’m down in Virginia Beach this week for training. At first, I wasn’t looking forward to yet another trip, but I think I’ve changed my tune. I’m staying in a hotel, which means I’m getting some much needed alone time. It feels a little luxurious, honestly, to have all of this space to myself, but I’m soaking it up. My suite has a small kitchen, so tonight for dinner I made fajitas (one of my favorite meals) and cream cheese and salsa dip (also something I love, but I don’t make it that often because I love it a little too much, if you know what I mean). I’m eating Cookie Crisp for dessert. I’m watching Friday Night Lights on Netflix and HGTV and it’s wonderful. Tonight I’ll sleep right in the middle of the king size bed all by myself and I won’t have to push a dog out of way to get more space. Tomorrow morning I’ll leave for training for the day and come back and someone else will have cleaned the room.

When I told my mom and sister about the hotel, about looking forward to the break and hours to just do nothing, they predicted I’d be bored. Maybe in a few days I will be, but I doubt it. Right now, I don’t think I ever want to leave.