Good friends

It's good to have friends.

I'm reminded of this because I spent a few moments this morning chatting with my good friend Kate (Hi, Kate! Are you reading this?). What we talked about isn't important (meaning only that it isn't central to the point I'm making - it was an important conversation to me). What is important is that when she signed off, I was just overwhelmingly grateful that God has given me these friends.

These are people with whom I can be totally honest and vulnerable, who know me and all my weird quirks and inconsistencies. I've laughed with them and cried with them, and when I'm convinced that I am completely screwed-up, they still stick around. They're there when I need them and when I don't.

What I can't figure out is how I managed to live so long without them in my life. I spent too many years being too insecure to let down my guard, at least completely. Now, having done so repeatedly, and finding them still there at the end of the whole mess, I'm amazed that I didn't just have nervous breakdowns all the time.

Friendship is the comfort, the inexpressible comfort, of feeling safe with a person, having to neither weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out - chaff and grain together - certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and, with the breath of kindess, blow the rest away.
- Dinah Mulock, "Friendship"

The wedding and a weekend in Rochester

James and Bethany's wedding was this weekend in Rochester, and it was hands-down the most fun I've ever had at a wedding. Part of this was probably because I was in it, and there were so many good friends who were there, too.

It's hard, because although I am so incredibly happy for them, weddings just tend to resonate in me how much I want that for myself. Plus, it's kind of weird to come back to normal life.

But Bethany was absolutely beautiful, and both the ceremony and reception were so them. I hope my wedding is like that - the kind that has my personal stamp on it.

I miss Beth, though. I know they need the week away to themselves, to start their marriage, but this weekend was such a major life event for her (and emotional for me, too) that it's weird not to be able to process that with her. At least not yet.

Embracing wonder

Blue like Jazz, by Donald Miller, is one of those books that's had such a great impact on my life, that I feel the need to re-read periodically. I learned a lot the first time, but I feel like there's so much good stuff in there, I feel like I can tap into it better if I read it again.

Last I started reading the chapter on worship, and mostly the chapter on worship is about wonder. It's about how it makes sense that there are things we don't understand about God. And if we truly understood the fullness of God, the fullness of all He is, wouldn't we be God ourselves? We need wonder. We need to know there's something bigger than us, there's someone who has it figured out when we don't.

And so I've decided, I'm embracing wonder. Instead of shying away from the fact that I don't understand everything about God, instead of thinking it's a cop out to say that to other people (especially non-Christians), I've decided I'm going to take hold of it. I'm going to hold on to it, and revel in the fact that God is bigger than I am.

It's Monday, and I wish I could crawl back into bed

I woke up today with a killer headache and an unsettled stomach. I took two Aleve, which has reduced the sharp pain in my head into a dull ache. I shouldn't have come into work today, but I don't have much sick leave left. Plus, if this is anything like the illness that Mom's been dealing with, I have several more days to go.

I ate something for lunch today, but now I'm regretting that decision. I thought not eating anything would be the worse of two, but I was wrong.

Tonight we have Club, after having last week off because Brad was on vacation. We might end up playing ultimate frisbee, depending on how many people are there, and I can't imagine the idea of running around at this moment. It's taking most of my energy to lift my head off the back of my chair.

I'm headed home to rest, and maybe take a short nap, before Club.

What type of coffee are you?

This online quiz was surprisingly accurate.

You Are a Frappacino
At your best, you are: fun loving, sweet, and modern
At your worst, you are: childish and over indulgent
You drink coffee when: you're craving something sweet
Your caffeine addiction level: low

Homecoming, part 2

It's been almost a week since Homecoming, and I still haven't followed up on my first post about it.

It's somewhat weird to go back to a place you haven't been in four years, and feel like you're such a different person than you were then. It's also weird to go to your class reunion, where the vast majority of people are married and have babies, and be one of only a handful who are unattached.

So I hung out with people I've seen a couple times since leaving school and leaving Chicago, and reconnected with several that I'd completely lost touch with. And, got to meet the significant others of a few friends.

I also realized something important about friendships. I think it's really true that there are some people who are only in our lives for a short while, and that's okay.

Homecoming

I just returned to Chicago with my friend, Laura, after heading to Taylor for Homecoming and my 5-year reunion. I saw some great friends, and generally reconnected with lots of people, so that was good.

I have more to say about the whole experience, but I'll post about that later, when I'm in a better frame of mind to process it (too tired right now).

Are my feet shrinking?

I think my feet are shrinking. No, seriously.

I've always been a size 11. Trust me, you don't just forget that you have feet that big, and no matter how much you may want to collect shoes, at that size, it's just not practical.

But, yesterday, when trying on an outfit I bought to show a friend, she lent me shoes to try with it. They're size 9 1/2, and they fit. I tried on the same pair at the shoe store today, thinking I might want to buy them (because otherwise I would need to return the outfit because I have no shoes that would fit). Same shoes, same size, and they were just too close for me to be comfortable. So, I'm thinking about it.

But, even if I did want to go a 1/2 size higher (which would be all that I would need), that would still be an entire size smaller than I'm using to buying.

Is this possible? Can your feet shrink?

In the Windy City

I made it! I'm in Chicago, on vacation, and today stretches out before me with nothing at all that I absolutely have to do. It's wonderful.

Done, done and done.

It's Friday night, late. I'm sitting here at my parents' house, planning to spend the night in a real bed for the first time in a couple weeks. And, my bedroom floor is almost completely done. I say almost, because I still need to do the transition pieces and quarter round. But, the floor is basically done, and tomorrow I can begin the process of putting my bedroom back together. Cutting the quarter round and transition pieces will create some dust, but nearly as much as cutting the floor boards themselves.

So, really, I should be sitting here happy, proud of myself for what I've accomplished. Instead, somehow, my mom has managed to pull the joy out of this moment for me. She doesn't think that I should take on a project like this again, and she doesn't think I should have taken it on alone. In fact, she specifically told me not to do it again.

I'm upset by this, partly because I really hate it when my mother forgets that I'm 27 and tells me what to do. But I'm also upset because I really enjoyed doing this, and I worked hard, and I'm proud of myself for accomplishing it. And, I want to do it again. And I think it's okay to be proud of what I've accomplished.