worth reading.

This book just went on my list to read: A Million Little Ways by Emily P. Freeman.

The first thing we know about God is that he made art. The first the we know about people is we were made in the image of an art-making God.

Now when I read quotes like this:If your dreams don’t scare you, they’re not big enough! I am still inspired, but I also now know the size of our dreaming isn’t the point.

The size of our God is.

Christ’s pursuit of me is more important than my pursuit of anything else.

I don’t care if you’re the President or the janitor – your ability to bring glory to God by simply being the person you fully are and embracing the job you’ve been given to do is a uniquely human privilege.

Christ is in you and he wants to come out through you in a way he won’t come out through anyone else. You have been given your two hands, your sick parents, your rotting back door. You have been given your extra deadlines, your diagnosis, the children at your table.

But you have also been given your sense of humor, your skill for writing, your passion to bring light to dark places. You have been given a heart for orphans, for animals, for food or for the poor.

You have been given your life, what you hold in your hands, the ground beneath your feet. You have been asked to show up. How do I know? Because you were born. Show up as you are, not as you think you ought to be.

Don’t run from your calling, no matter what it is.

If you don’t know what it is? Maybe this book will help you uncover it.

There isn’t one great thing you were made to do. There is one great God you were made to glorify.

Throughout your life, you’ll do that in a million little ways.

~ a million little ways, Chatting at the Sky

the story isn’t over yet.

For the last several weeks, our church has been going through the Story [link] – basically traveling through the Bible in a year, learning about God’s story and our place in it. Each week, the Sunday morning sermon, the various children’s ministries, and the small groups study the same passage.

A few weeks ago, we studied the Israelites’ escape from Egypt to the Red Sea. If you don’t know the story, here’s a synopsis: the Israelites are slaves and Pharaoh finally agrees to let them go after a series of plagues strike Egypt. Soon after, he changes his mind and sends his army after them. Israel has traveled as far as the Red Sea and is now trapped between it and Pharaoh’s approaching army. They panic, crying out again Moses their leader and wondering why they didn’t just stay in Egypt rather than face this certain death.

Of course, if you know the rest of the story, it doesn’t end there. God miraculously parts the Red Sea so that the Israelites can walk through on dry ground. Then, after they’ve made it through, God brings the waters back together and Pharaoh’s army drowns. And this isn’t the last time that same scenario plays itself out – the Israelites come across an obstacle in their journey, they complain and say it would have been better to have been slaves, and God miraculously provides for them.

It’s easy to look at the Israelites and judge them for their initial response when faced with these obstacles, but here is the thought that I can’t get out of my head –the story wasn’t over yet. All they saw was an ending, an insurmountable obstacle, but God was just getting started! If they just held out a little while longer, they would see His provision – miraculously.

There are a ton of applications to this, but for me, in this season, it is such a comforting thought when ministry doesn’t go the way I want it to (and it rarely does) – God is not done writing the story.

new recipes, 2013–part 1

Crock Pot Philly Cheesesteaks – This isn’t the first time I’ve tried to make cheesesteaks in the crock pot. I used Steak-umms, because then I don’t have to worry about slicing the meat. They were okay, but the meat just really didn’t seem to have a lot of flavor. I like using the crock pot not only because it’s easy, but because some people in my life don’t like onions and bell peppers, and cooking them all day in the crock pot makes them a little less potent. Next time I’m just frying everything in a skillet.

Oven Steak Fries – These were a last minute addition to the night’s meal, because I needed a side for cheesesteaks and fries sounded good. They were easy (especially since I didn’t need to peal the potatoes) and tasted delicious.

Creamy Chicken and Bacon Pastry Pockets – Puff pastry is such a fun thing to work with – it’s pretty easy, even if it’s a little messy, and the results are usually impressive. These were no exception. I did make a few changes – I didn’t include the sun dried tomatoes (because I just didn’t feel like buying them), and I used turkey bacon instead (because Missy and her girls don’t eat pork). I’d definitely make these again, and they would work really well as a party food.

Spanish Rice – I liked this, though I had to adapt it to what I had on hand (no bacon and diced instead of stewed tomatoes). I’m going to try it again this weekend with the right ingredients.

Skinny Monkey Cookies – These are kind of like a healthier version of a no-bake, except that you bake them. They got mixed reviews here – about half of us liked them and half didn’t. There is definitely a banana flavor, but if you like bananas (I do!) you might really enjoy these. They are also pretty simple, which I appreciate.

And a tip – did you know that you can shred chicken breasts using a stand mixer? It’s a little messy because you need to cover the top of bowl with your hands to avoid pieces flying out, and the chicken needs to be warm (even hot) for it to work, but it’s a lot easier than doing it by hand!

2013 goals.

It’s February 2, and I’m just now getting around to finalizing and posting my goals for this year. Hopefully this isn’t indicative of how likely I am to get them done.

Honestly, I had a harder time than usual with this year’s list. It was both hard to narrow down what I wanted to focus on, and yet to ensure that my list represented many of the things that were most important to me. So here we go – 15 things that run the gamut from house goals to the spiritual to financial, from serious to simple, from quick and easy to more involved.

1. Go camping
2. Read 5 non-fiction books
3. Read through 5 YouVersion Bible reading plans
4. Sew something
5. Grill something
6. Use coupons with groceries for one month
7. Tile something
8. Build a new piece of furniture
9. Finish the dining room gallery wall
10. Do something that scares me
11. Try 25 new recipes
12. Identify 10 life-giving friends/family members and write them a letter
13. Take a yoga class
14. Start an herb garden
15. Try 6 new restaurants in downtown Frederick

art love, part 2.

One of the things I know I want to finish this year is adding an art gallery to the dining room. I have a combination of homemade art pieces (like this and this and this), things I’ve purchased as mementos of people or places (like this and this), photos – pretty much anything that makes me remember and smile when I look at it. Many things need frames, and then I can start working on placement.

Over the last year, I’ve become more and more committed to the idea of adding meaningful art to my home – things that tell the story of my life and the people who are a part of it. I don’t want to make or buy something just because the colors work, but because they mean something to me.

A few months ago, I posted several pieces of homemade art on Etsy that had caught my eye.

Here are a few more that I’ve pinned or marked as favorites lately.

Rides, www.bowerpowerblog.com

Carnival swings are one of my favorite carnival rides – I love the feeling of soaring high above everything else. I love the perspective on this one, with the view of the sky.

Amsterdam Canal Boats, Laura Amiss

Okay, this one doesn’t really have any special meaning for me – I just love the style. And it makes me want to go to Amsterdam.

Though She be but Little She is Fierce, Raw Art Letterpress

This one makes me think of K, especially when she’s playing basketball. I also love this one: “You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you think, and loved more than you know.”

Rain Dance in Red, Karen Tarlton

This one makes me think of my sister Katie and one of her favorite quotes: “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm, but learning to dance in the rain.”

The Lion, Karen Tarlton

This one is my favorite, which is ironic because it’s also the most expensive. I like it because it makes me think of this book, which makes me think of Africa because I read it there. Also, because it reminds me of courage, which has kind of been the theme of the last few years and especially the last month. And lastly, because it looks like Aslan.

2012 in review.

So, it’s January. Actually, we’re more than halfway through January, which means 99% of the people I know have already declared their New Year’s resolutions, and 50% of them have already broken them.

But I don’t do resolutions – I do goals. Around 20 or so specific, measurable, but loosely held ideas of what I want to accomplish in a year. 2012 was no exception, and like every year, some I finish, some I start, and some I don’t do at all. And that’s okay with me, because how can we possibly know on January what a whole year will hold? I don’t know about you, but I’m still trying to figure out next week. Taking the time to think through the most important things in your life, making sure your everyday actions line up with those things, having a direction – all of those are important, I get that. But why do we put so much pressure on ourselves to declare some big thing that we will do or be by the time we roll around to the end of December? Isn’t there room for just living in this moment, for being willing to take each new bend in the road as it comes, and for allowing God to change the things that are important to us?

So, this is how I balance the two – I spend some time thinking about what’s important to me, what new experiences I want to have or skills I want to cultivate, what habits I’d like to add to my life and which ones need to be removed. Then I come up with a list, and I review it about once a month – not just to see how much progress I’m making, but also to figure out if that goal is even important to me anymore.

These were the goals I set in 2012, and my results on each:

1. Create art with Jacob (done – one, two, three)
2. Try 25 new recipes (done – one, two, three, four, five, six)
3. Read 5 non-fiction books (partially done – one, two, three, four)
4. Read through the entire Bible (partially done)
5. Get eight hours of sleep a night for one solid month (not done)
6. Start an herb garden (not done)
7. Make meaningful art for my house (done – one, two, three, four)
8. Explore downtown Frederick by trying six new restaurants (done)
9. Take a yoga class (not done)
10. Take a French class (done)
11. Take Ally, Cam, and Jake to lunch for their birthdays (done)
12. Cut my car loan balance in half (not done)
13. Join a Bible study (done)
14. See 5 (new) places from the book 1,000 Places to See in the U.S.A. & Canada Before You Die (partially done)
15. Walk the dogs four times a week for a month (not done)
16. Set up a recycling center (done)
17. Tile something (not done)
18. Grill something (not done)
19. Write random notes to the people that I love (done)
20. Go hiking with my sisters (done – one, two)

I’m still working on the goal list for this year. Some were pretty easy, but I’m struggling to think through a few others. It might partly be because God turned my life upside down the last two months of 2012 and I think it’s likely He’ll do it again this year. It’s also because there are some big areas that I want to address in some way, but I haven’t let figured out how I want to do it.

Hopefully, I’ll have the list done by the end of the month.

what i'm not doing.

We’re a few days into December, which means it’s definitely the Christmas season (even if you’re not one of those people who starts listening to Christmas music in September, like I am). I don’t know about you, but in between buying gifts, holiday events, and the stuff of normal everyday life, December can feel like three-ring circus, and it’s easy to miss the whole point of it all for all of the things we have to do (just like the innkeeper).

When you add my upcoming surgery (which has added a new holiday deadline) and a full week away training for work, I’m looking for ways to slow the frantic pace we could easily adopt. With that in mind – here is a list of things I’m not doing this year:

Christmas cards – I like getting them, and even like sending them, but not this year.

Extensive Christmas decorating – I was actually thinking of just limiting our decorations to the tree and the Nativity, but lucky for me, M did all of the heavy lifting here (usually when I was out of house). Even the clean up.

All handmade gifts – I’ve made a few things, but with the exception of a couple things to finish up this weekend, I’m sticking with purchased items. Still personal, but a lot less time involved.

Avoiding gift cards – Normally I try to avoid giving gift cards, because they feel impersonal. This year, I’m giving in – especially for a few hard-to-buy-for family members.

Christmas baking – I got all inspired at Michaels a couple of nights ago and bought disposable loaf pans, thinking I might make some homemade zucchini bread for my neighbors. Or maybe cookies. Who knows? But if I just don’t get around to doing this, they’ll keep until next year. Or even the year after.

Creating (or buying) many new Christmas decorations – This year, I’m sticking to what I already have.

How do you make sure you slow down and enjoy the Christmas season?

the innkeeper.

I heard this at church yesterday morning, from Frederick Buechner’s The Magnificent Defeat. I’m working on a post about some of the things that I’m not doing this Christmas season, in an attempt to slow down the crazy. In the meantime, read this – because I think missing the miracle for the trees is certainly not a new problem.

"I speak to you as men of the world," said the Innkeeper. "Not as idealists but as realists. Do you know what it is like to run an inn-to run a business, a family, to run anything in this world for that matter, even your own life? It is being lost in a forest of a million trees," said the Innkeeper, and each tree is a thing to be done. Is there fresh linen on all the beds? Did the children put on their coats before they went out? Has the letter been written, the book read? Is there money enough left in the bank? Today we have food in our bellies and clothes on our backs, but what can we do to make sure that we will have them still tomorrow? A million trees. A million things.

"Until finally we have eyes for nothing else, and what-ever we see turns into a thing. The sparrow lying in the dust at your feet-just a thing to be kicked out of the way, not the mystery of death. The calling of children outside your window-just a distraction, an irrelevance, not life, not the wildest miracle of them all. That whispering in the air that comes sudden and soft from nowhere-only the wind, the wind…

"Later that night, when the baby came, I was not there," the Innkeeper said. "I was lost in the forest somewhere, the unenchanted forest of a million trees. Fifteen steps to the cellar, and watch out for your head going down. Firewood to the left. If the fire goes out, the heart freezes. Only the wind, the wind. I speak to you as men of the world. So when the baby came, I was not around, and I saw none of it. As for what I heard -- just at that moment itself of birth when nobody turns into somebody-I do not rightly know what I heard.

"But this I do know. My own true love. All your life long, you wait for your own true love to come-we all of us do-our destiny, our joy, our heart's desire. So how am I to say it, gentlemen? When he came, I missed him.

on being radical.

I have this desire to be radical. It's one of those things that's engraved deep within me, a yearning that has been a part of me for a long time. I'm not sure where it comes from exactly - maybe a desire to stand out, a need to matter. I'd like to couch it in spiritual terms, to make you think that I love Jesus so much that I want to do something big for him. But if I'm being honest, I think there are some selfish motivations driving that. Because if not, would I really want to be radical, or just obedient?

It's been about a year and half now since I started doing stuff that I would have considered radical a few years ago. And you know what? It doesn't feel radical. It just kind of feels like this is the way I should have been living all along. And hopefully, as God keeps teaching me, the stuff that seems radical now will just seem normal in a few years. I have no idea what that will look like. But in case you're in that place of wanting to be radical but not really sure how to start, here are a couple things I've learned.

First, it starts with the small things. If we're not willing to be faithful in the little things of every day life, what makes us think we'll say yes when God asks for something more? If I won't be generous with my free time when I have so much of it, am I really going to be willing to sacrifice it later when it seems there is much less to spare? And if I don't trust him with all that he has given me so far, why would I trust him with more?

Second, in the end, it's really about the small things. Even the big decisions are really lived out in the day to day. For me, it's cooking more often than I ever have before, because one meal doesn't lead to as many leftovers as it used to. Sometimes it's stopping what I'm doing, or skipping what I want to do, to give someone a ride or pick someone up. It's the choice to be patient when I really want to be left alone, or the decision to stay engaged when I want to find a place to hide out for a while. It's doing the dishes again. Like with so many other things, the real impact is not in the one big decision, but the daily little ones.

the latest.

After wrestling for a couple weeks on what to say and how to say it, I think I’ve finally figured it out.

A few months ago, T and her 14-year-old daughter K moved in with me, because they needed a place to stay for a few months. For reasons I won’t go into, T is going to be unavailable for a while, so K will be living with me, along with her 17-year-old sister A. In addition to this, M and her young daughters A and B are living here, which makes for a wonderfully full house.

(Full of females, including the dogs, which gives some male members of my family a little bit of anxiety at the idea of coming over).

So this is where I find myself these days – making doctor and dentist appointments, planning meals on a regular basis for more than just myself, checking school grades and helping with homework, and learning what parents mean when they say they feel like they’re running a taxi service. And although I am not the girls’ mother, I’m still getting a crash course in parenting. I am certain that I am exactly where God wants me, even as I’m getting used to this new schedule and the myriad new responsibilities that come with it.

I started reading The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson today, and these words jumped out at me:

“I felt underqualified and overwhelmed, but that is when God has you right where He wants you. That is how you learn to live in raw dependence – and raw dependence is the raw material out of which God performs His greatest miracles.”

This is where I am – sure that I can’t do this job, but confident that He can. And anticipating that God will do miraculous things.